USM: The First Two Weeks

pic by SamikRC

How's life in USM, you ask? To be frank, most of the time I feel like this:


My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone up there will find me
'til then I walk alone

- Green Day, Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Okay, maybe not that emo as the rest of the song suggests, but I literally most of the time go places alone, because everyone has different schedules and things to do (which I'm trying to get used to). but I admit I feel lonely even in the midst of lots of people. It's not that I have no new friends or acquaintances - met many people during orientation week & have friends to hang out with, inviting me to events and places, but everything is still unfamiliar. As nice as Penang gets, my heart is basically still in Puchong & Sri Petaling.

I lost my bearings for a bit - 2 weeks of routine overhaul is a lot of stimuli for me to adjust to and the fact that I'm somewhat introverted - a trait I'm still struggling to accept - makes me rummage through all the activities and times to redefine myself.

A change of spoken language daily - one of my senior friends mentioned that my spoken English now has a Chinese slang, thanks to speaking Mandarin 90% of the time I'm here (I'm not implying it's bad - in fact I need the practice before I forget the language back in Puchong) while at home it was 90% English. I lost count of how many times I told some new friend that I speak Mandarin (to make them feel more comfortable when talking to me) which usually catches people by surprise, haha. Made friends from other races as well in the Pimpin Siswa camp but still need to make more as to balance my friend base :D And what about my Indian side? It needs some serious stimulation. I want to be a Chindian, not just a Chinese - to be true to my roots. (Maybe I should take up Tamil?)

Two weeks of no church and I slightly waver in my faith stand - I used to be super involved with er, almost everything at church back home and knowing almost everyone from the kiddies to the senior citizens in church (20 years there), and now I'm a visitor to new churches and even singing familiar songs weird - it's just too new an experience here. The seniors are very nice though and pretty much trying their best to make us (the first years) welcome here (Thanks!) I find myself contemplating the internal questions Do you need familiarity, hype, and people to worship God? Can't you be yourself? countless times.

Studies? With assignments already given during the first week, I wonder how to cope. I used to be a last minute adrenaline rush study type but I don't think that will work well here. Already changed subjects 3 times because some subjects not offered yet la, can't take la... bureaucracy makes me pening kepala sometimes haha. And the textbooks are even thicker than the form 6 ones, they're mostly in English but most exams are in Malay (looks like I have to take a translation course too lol) and lastly finances - need to keep track. Period. Money is limited to allowance again, unlike the past few months where I had the harvest of working part time with excess.

Well, I'm learning to cope with this new life and I hope to settle better soon :) Pics and more actual experiences in the next post...

Notice II

Sorry for being MIA for so long...trying to get used to USM haha :)

I'll update this blog by today afternoon or tomorrow, stay tuned...

Pre-U(ni) Part V: September Is Coming

picture by Gilderic Photography

These days nostalagia seems to get the better of me.

When I wake up every morning and go to sleep each night, I feel more appreciative of my bed, its fluffy pillows, and the bolster that I hug all the time. To think that I'm moving to possibly hard mattresses and a lack of belonging (tons of people have slept on hostel beds before...), with rumors of bugs like these crawling about...

So comfortable...picture by somethingstartedcrazy

When I go to familiar places, realizing that I'm only coming back every once in a while and that being a fastly developing town, many things in Puchong will change...hopefully can still find my way around next time...

When I meet familiar faces and scenarios, knowing that what used to be getting together often becomes more scarce, and meaningful, as well as the lingering question of whether we'll all still keep in touch after that.

Friends come in all colours and faces...picture by Neal Fowler

When knowing that a bunny's lifespan is about 8-10 years and Poofy is already 8 this year...everytime I come home I'm not sure whether he will be still there hopping and begging around. I sure hope he's a teenage   bunny :)

Poofy :D (pic by me)

When even the nicest food in food paradise will still make me miss grandma's chicken paratel and dhal curry...what about Grandma herself? How will she be? I think I just might miss the seemingly mundane things that I normally ignore or take for granted: Grandma's singing every morning, Mom's advice and her being funny, my sis just being...my sis, and maybe even my dad's lectures (!)

I'm afraid of my independence - can I pull it off? Can I become a healthier, more fit person with less flab and more stamina (not to mention better eating...food is a weakness, yikes!), make lots of great friends (both girls and guys), develop relationships that are beyond surface level, learn not just to pass exams (and understand why I'm getting an education in the first place), and learn something out of all this?

September is coming...picture by Masaaki Miyara

As the days draw near, tips and information from the school (and the seniors) increase, stuff on my shopping list are ticked and time spent in this place I called home is mere days, sometimes I want to stay here, where everything is familiar. Funny that I used to feel slightly envious of people leaving for far away - they have farewells and get-togethers for them, but right now I think I know why (they need all the support they can get as they're making a big leap in life)

But I think communal bathrooms, staying with people from all over the country and living independently now is part of God's training of me, to become mature and prepared for the challenging world of adulthood. I don't think I can sleep much this September, but this life is dynamic and I'm prepared to live it. :)

Life is a journey...picture by joeri-c

To all friends and readers who are leaving for your respective unis next month, all the best in uni life guys! Let's all take a deep breath and then plunge into this next major chapter of our lives. :)