I'm A Dreamer: Found Guilty Of Imagination

Not only do I imagine being free to be myself -- I would like to dance in the rain for real too. (photo credits at the end of the post. Used with a CC licence)
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You know those school magazines where some creative classmate of yours comes up with a seloka or (not-so correctly translated to English) long rhyme that describes your class based on their positions (monitor, assistant monitor etc) and individual characters? Well, I can't help but be impressed on the skill of making all of us, with our unique names and all, in rhyme. Even though some people are described more than others based on outstanding personality traits and also how well the creator of the seloka personally knows them, I find it real fun reading about the leader, the quiet, the class clowns, the smart, the little cliques of friends, etc. (for the record, I personally have been described as either 'quiet' or partnered with other friends as 'always together' in these kind of stuff.)

If I were to describe myself in a seloka, I'd say that I'm a dreamer.

Why do you say so, you ask? Well, because I know that at any given moment of the day, my over-active imagination is always at work of imagining myself or other people doing something, based on the observations that I have made. Confusing statement? Well, let me illustrate.

If I happen to be watching Akademi Fantasia or American Idol at the moment, I would imagine myself on world stage, signing my heart out on classy tunes that bring out the best of my imaginary vocal range and talents to fans watching in awe. When I'm done, they even give me a standing ovation! Wow, that must be great. From a typical middle-class schoolgirl I can rise up to nationwide recognition (or the alternative would be post videos of myself singing and playing music on Youtube and get discovered somehow just like Justin Bieber...look how famous he is now).

Another example would be if I saw a beauty pageant on TV (Miss Universe, Miss World etc) and saw the pretty international beauties waltz down with their flow-y hair and classy gowns, I will imagine myself wearing a designer gown gracefully down a long flight of stairs hearing "wow, she's gorgeous" and being escorted by a handsome host. Oh wait, I forgot the most important bit:  being crowned the world champion, then walking on the stage with a big bouquet doing the beauty queen wave. Wow.

A third, more down to earth situation that I find myself imagining a lot is about my future boyfriend/husband, uh, whoever he may be (I've already given him a lot of imaginary names already, mostly English names because I don't really imagine his race and the names can mean any ethnicity, but I won't state them here just in case that's coincidentally your name and I accidentally make you perasan xD) The trigger is every time I go out somewhere and see couples holding hands, or when some of my friends start talking about boys, or during weddings. Well, I'd start imagining him holding my hand, me feeding him popcorn at the movies, or him kissing me on the lips after the minister says 'you may kiss your bride'.

Well, I (and I think you too) can deduce two things from those three examples above:

1. I generally enjoy the spotlight a lot; and
2. I imagine things in detail.

There are many more things that I like to imagine: being declared the overall best STPM student in front of all my form 6 friends next year when we get our results, university life, studying law in UM for bachelors and in Oxford for Masters, my sister being a world-famous graphic designer, having kids of my own and imagining my parents becoming grandparents (I want to name my first girl Janelle because I love that name so much. As for boy's names, I haven't found a favorite yet), how my current group of friends would look in 10 years' time (married and with kids and running businesses), Recom/Remag being known, read and utilized by all Malaysian students locally and abroad, being an established writer making significant money just by living my passion, and the list can go on and on. Life and its possibilities are interesting, don't you think?

However, I use the word dreamer to describe myself because the examples above are mere dreams - they allow me to smile to myself often (if you observe my behavior in real life you'd notice that I smile to myself pretty often) and feel as if I was floating in clouds. However, reality is less sweet than imaginations, and I think we ll know that as sad yet true. However, to me, reality can be thought of in a positive manner - after all it's real when imagination is imaginary! Referring back to the three main examples that I mentioned above:

• Music does run in my family lineage (from my mom's side to be more specific - Dad can sing but he has other more outstanding areas of talent), so I believe that God has given me, my sister and my mom the ability to hit perfect pitch most of the time and sing in tune, as well as sing occasional harmony and play instruments (need practice on that though). However, I don't think professional singing is my calling as it's not the most outstanding talent of mine and I didn't really train up my vocal cords from young. Now there are two reasons I sing: to worship God, and as a form of entertainment cum stress-releasing technique.
• Beauty is a quality every girl seeks after - it's an universal female aim - and so when comparing myself to models in magazines and celebs, my body always seems less than perfect. However, I also make a conscious choice to love my body in all its imperfections, because I believe that God did not make a mistake when He created me. And, it's up to me to take good care of it. I love makeup, especially mascara as it defines my medium-long eyelashes and makes them look longer, but I've learned from my wise mom that makeup should only enhance and not cover up our natural beauty.
• About romantic feelings...well, I blab about it a lot in a few of my previous posts already, so I'm lazy to post about them again. Conclusion: I'm going to enjoy singleness to the max while waiting on God's timing for my future mate.

Having said all that, imagination has tremendously helped me in one area - my writing, especially when ideas come to me in my free time. My mom suggested that I should bring a notebook to jot down stuff wherever I go so that I don't forget ideas easily. Imagination is what is now driving me to join the July version of NaNoWriMo (I have STPM in November...) to write a Malaysian-style amateur novel on the theme of sincere, unadulterated friendship beyond socio-economic boundaries for fun (who knows, it might even get published one day?)

One last,more short term dream: If only I can waltz in in a pretty gown during my graduation ceremony this year as a co-emcee (hopefully, so that I can see how brave I've become in one and a half years of form six life with a previously 'as quiet as a mouse in school' record, and normally emcees come in a male-female pair so I'd have to become a co-emcee) looking confident and being myself up there? Well, it's a little far-fetched dream for now, and let's see what happens later...

Imagination, even though it may not be reality, is really sweet, and has been a real help in my writing as well as a driving force to make some of what were once dreams become a reality :)

My imagination runs free like children on a beach -- however, it needs to be tamed at times, too. (photo credits below)

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Images taken from here and here.

PS: I'll try my best not to write advice-y-preachy articles too often after this, and more sincere and down-to-earth ones like today's post. I'm getting tired of'em. Even when I do, I'd write my own experiences as opposed to 'we ought to' and 'we should'.